Our "baby" is 4 already!! Happy Birthday Jordy!!

Our sweet little Jordy turned 4 at the end of November. He seems to have grown up more since he started school in September. He's more confident and independent.

Yet he's still our youngest... the one who still calls dessert, "bessert". When he got a little Frankenstein bucket at Halloween, he called it "Franklinstein"... he likes Franklin the turtle :) He's the one who always comes in to our room in the middle of the night for cuddles and gives Mummy nose kisses. There are days when he still wants help with his socks and others when I'm amazed at his vocabulary.

We had his Rescue Heroes birthday party at a local pool and all 13 kids had a blast!! The pool was shallow enough to not be over the kids' heads, but deep enough to swim. It was also 95 degrees which also doesn't hurt!!

I had actually made a cake and cupcakes for the party (one vanilla and one chocolate), but the cupcakes got knocked over in the van by a little boy who "didn't have room for his feet" and I didn't have time to salvage :/ So... we set up the cupcakes with Billy Blazes and a couple fellow rescuers when we got home.

Jord's birthday was a few days before his party so we had an ice cream cake as well... (ummm...we like cake around here...) I love that Jude, when asked to let Jordy have a picture by himself with his cake, ducked but then popped his head back up :)

Happy Birthday Jordy!! We love you sweet boy :)

My brother Joe

It was this date in 1972 that my brother tragically died, 3 years before I was born.


Joe and my sister Joan were twins. Knowing the bond that Abby, Jude and Jordan have as siblings, I can't imagine what it must have been like for my sister to lose her best friend... the one with whom she shared our mother's womb... or for my eldest sister to lose her little brother.

With the loss of Josh and Jonah, I certainly know the heart-stabbing pain of losing a child. It was (and some days still is) excruciatingly difficult. As I've shared before, I grieved for all the memories that we would never have with our boys and for all the ways that we would not get to know them this side of Heaven.

But having a child for 10 years... knowing his favourite foods and least favourite ones, knowing his passions and struggles, watching him grow...

...knowing his first word and when he lost his first tooth, when he caught his first fish and got his first hockey goal...

...for that child to suddenly leave this world on a cold November afternoon...I pray I never have to experience what that loss would be like.

Only God in His Sovereignty knows the "why".  We like logic and reasoning.  We want to know the why and yet, it's not for us to know (even though we think that it would provide us with comfort in some way).  It is for us to believe.  It is for us to trust that the Creator of the universe knows and for us to take comfort that we are all in His hands. 

It took me a while to trust God again after the boys died, mostly because I thought that my plan (of them being miraclously healed and a testimony to God's power) was much better than His... where  both Josh and Jonah went to be with Him so shortly after entering our lives.  But God is sovereign and I choose to trust that His plan is best.... even when I don't know the why. 

This life is but a vapor.... a blink in light of eternity.  I know that one day I will enter into His gates with thanksgiving.  I will again see my sweet little boys and meet my big brother (who I like to think all spend lots to time together in Heaven). It won't matter that I didn't have all the reasons why God chose the path He did for all of us.  It will matter that I chose to trust and believe.

Ready for Trick or Treating!

The kids were all super excited to go trick-or-treating this year!

Abs was Bolt the dog (from the Disney movie, "Bolt"). I tried to fix her costume, but the ears still looked either like horns or bunny ears... poor Abs! I did my best!! Jord chose the dragon costume from our costume bin & Jude wore his Optimus Prime costume he got for his birthday.

This was the first year Jord was really excited to go out. He always yelled "Trick-or-Treat" and chatted with the neighbours... overall much more outgoing than usual! He made sure that people knew that Jude wasn't really a transformer, but that he was just wearing a costume. I'm not sure why he thought that was a distinction he needed to make :)

The evening wasn't overly chilly and the kids did great, even with the multitude of steps they had to climb to reach the houses on the hill!

The kids' school sends donated candy to Third World countries for missionaries to give to children for special occasions so the kids went though their treats after school to donate.

How to carve a pumpkin...

First... you ship 3 little pumpkins all the way from Papa's garden in NB or send them up with Grammy :)

Next, you have to scoop out all the guts... not a favourite part.

Then, you examine the drawing you had sketched (or your big sister had sketched based on your specifications) and draw the sketches onto the cleaned-out pumpkin.

Daddy then takes the pumpkin carving tools and carves the sketched-on faces.

Mummy takes pictures and occasionally steps in to help with separating out seeds from guts or to wipe off permanent market with rubbing alcohol :)

3 little pumpkins, sat on our deck...

...then lined our walkway for our handful of trick-or-treaters!

Thanksgiving on the farm

We spent Thanksgiving day at Belluz farm, enjoying the beautiful warmth of an October afternoon...

jumping and playing together in the sand...

running through an enormous maze of corn where the kids got to choose which way to go...

even when they got too tired to walk...

We took a ride up to "Straw Henge" overlooking the majestic beauty of the forests, fields and mountains...

Abby and Dad had a brief game of tag before we headed back...

for some cuddles with adorable sleepy puppies.

It was a beautiful day of memories and thankfulness...

Thankfulness

When I started reading Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts", I started keeping a list of the different things in my life for which I was thankful. One of the lessons I learned was the need to be thankful always, for the painful and difficult things as well as the beautiful ones.

I'm taking today to reflect back on the past few months.... of the many many things for which I am thankful.  And I'll finally share a few pictures from the summer...

I'm thankful for Abby's friends (and her friends' moms!).  We had a weekend mother-daughter campout with 5 other mother-daughter pairs in July and then sleepover this past weekend. 

I'm thankful for Jon's brother, Paul and the brief visit we had with him in Ottawa when we drove through this summer.  Jude LOVED Uncle Paul who came bearing part of Jon's childhood Transformer collection AND rode a motorcycle.  Uncle Paul is definitely very cool :)

I'm thankful for the picnic breakfast we had at CHEO (the hospital where Jonah lived the last few weeks of his life).

I'm thankful for Nana & Papa and the beauty of the country... for the abundance of vegetables and for the 82-year old hands that cultivated the soil, planted the seeds and lovingly cared for the plants all summer.

I'm thankful that our kids could enjoy the garden and the little bean shelter planted just for them.

Jordy was particularly fond of picking and eating the carrots that Papa would clean off for him with his shirt :)

I'm thankful for the cottage and these 2 little brothers whose relationship grows closer each day.

I'm thankful even for Shasta, our very energetic, handful of a dog!  Abs had a great time swimming with her at the cottage and Jude had fun throwing sticks for her.

I'm thankful for my sisters and the projects they plan for the kids when we visit.  One of the projects this summer was making plaster hand prints for the cottage, decorated with beach glass.

I'm thankful for dad blowing bubbles for the kids and my mum playing lego with them.

I'm thankful for family fishing trips.

I'm thankful for my family (and s'mores!!)

I'm thankful that we could go to Kings Landing this summer with my parents and for the stories that they both shared with the kids about growing up in a different time.

I'm thankful for our kids... growing up and doing so many new, amazing things... stretching themselves past their fears.  Abby learned to not only put her face in the water, but actually swim under water!  Jude mastered the "bob"!

I'm thankful for Abby's excitment over her very first lemonade stand (at our summer yard sale)

I'm thankful for the two weekends could spend camping this summer, just our little family.

I'm thankful for the way that Jordy always tries to find flowers to give to me, even when there are very few to be found.

I'm thankful for the beauty of Creation and for the ruggedly beautiful country in which we live.

I'm thankful for the property that we just purchased to build a house for Jon's mom with lots of room for the kids to explore!  I'm thankful that Lin will move 2500 kms to be closer to us... as soon as she sells her house :)

I'm thankful for my amazing, handsome husband. 

I'm thankful for this life that God's given me...