My brother Joe

It was this date in 1972 that my brother tragically died, 3 years before I was born.


Joe and my sister Joan were twins. Knowing the bond that Abby, Jude and Jordan have as siblings, I can't imagine what it must have been like for my sister to lose her best friend... the one with whom she shared our mother's womb... or for my eldest sister to lose her little brother.

With the loss of Josh and Jonah, I certainly know the heart-stabbing pain of losing a child. It was (and some days still is) excruciatingly difficult. As I've shared before, I grieved for all the memories that we would never have with our boys and for all the ways that we would not get to know them this side of Heaven.

But having a child for 10 years... knowing his favourite foods and least favourite ones, knowing his passions and struggles, watching him grow...

...knowing his first word and when he lost his first tooth, when he caught his first fish and got his first hockey goal...

...for that child to suddenly leave this world on a cold November afternoon...I pray I never have to experience what that loss would be like.

Only God in His Sovereignty knows the "why".  We like logic and reasoning.  We want to know the why and yet, it's not for us to know (even though we think that it would provide us with comfort in some way).  It is for us to believe.  It is for us to trust that the Creator of the universe knows and for us to take comfort that we are all in His hands. 

It took me a while to trust God again after the boys died, mostly because I thought that my plan (of them being miraclously healed and a testimony to God's power) was much better than His... where  both Josh and Jonah went to be with Him so shortly after entering our lives.  But God is sovereign and I choose to trust that His plan is best.... even when I don't know the why. 

This life is but a vapor.... a blink in light of eternity.  I know that one day I will enter into His gates with thanksgiving.  I will again see my sweet little boys and meet my big brother (who I like to think all spend lots to time together in Heaven). It won't matter that I didn't have all the reasons why God chose the path He did for all of us.  It will matter that I chose to trust and believe.

Ready for Trick or Treating!

The kids were all super excited to go trick-or-treating this year!

Abs was Bolt the dog (from the Disney movie, "Bolt"). I tried to fix her costume, but the ears still looked either like horns or bunny ears... poor Abs! I did my best!! Jord chose the dragon costume from our costume bin & Jude wore his Optimus Prime costume he got for his birthday.

This was the first year Jord was really excited to go out. He always yelled "Trick-or-Treat" and chatted with the neighbours... overall much more outgoing than usual! He made sure that people knew that Jude wasn't really a transformer, but that he was just wearing a costume. I'm not sure why he thought that was a distinction he needed to make :)

The evening wasn't overly chilly and the kids did great, even with the multitude of steps they had to climb to reach the houses on the hill!

The kids' school sends donated candy to Third World countries for missionaries to give to children for special occasions so the kids went though their treats after school to donate.

How to carve a pumpkin...

First... you ship 3 little pumpkins all the way from Papa's garden in NB or send them up with Grammy :)

Next, you have to scoop out all the guts... not a favourite part.

Then, you examine the drawing you had sketched (or your big sister had sketched based on your specifications) and draw the sketches onto the cleaned-out pumpkin.

Daddy then takes the pumpkin carving tools and carves the sketched-on faces.

Mummy takes pictures and occasionally steps in to help with separating out seeds from guts or to wipe off permanent market with rubbing alcohol :)

3 little pumpkins, sat on our deck...

...then lined our walkway for our handful of trick-or-treaters!