Our first borns, Josh and Jonah, are never far from our thoughts, even in the business of parenting their three younger siblings.
For those of you who don't know, our first son Joshua Michael was born on Tuesday March 18, 2003 at 10:15 am weighing 1 lb, 6 oz at 23 1/2 weeks gestational age. His brother Jonah David was born with a splash and a squeak on Wednesday March 19, 2003 at 9:10 pm weighing 1 lb, 11 oz.
Josh suffered from a pulmonary haemorrhage and passed away on Thursday March 20, 2003. Jonah fought bravely for his life until April 18, 2003 when his lungs and heart finally stopped functioning. We knew that he was very sick, but had hoped that we would bring him home with us. We now know that Jonah had NEC (Necrotizing Enterocolitis). The subsequent infection caused his already premature and weak organs to deteriorate and finally shut down.
I want to share with you what we wrote for the boys' memorial services...
To JoshIt's supposed to be July,
But it's March
You were too young to be born today
And yet your little fingers already have fingernails
Your tiny head already has dark hair.
Your skin, thin and fragile bruises so easily
And yet your are beautiful,
Fearfully and wonderfully made.
How we long to comfort you
Feeling so helpless as we sit at your bedside
...Watching you through glass
...Praying for you
...Hoping you feel our love.
We may never know why it's March
But we're blessed to have this precious time with you.
We love you Josh.
You'll always be in our hearts.
To Jonah
A gift of time, 30 days
Of anguish and of intense love.
We have a fear of forgetting.
We want to clasp each moment to us.
Memories; luminous and iridescent,
As captive tears
And as elusive.
Of fragile golden lashes, impossibly long;
Of seeing your eyes first open; one then the other;
Of delicate fingers, tiny and perfect, curling over our fingers;
Of small pink tongue and perfect lips;
Of silky head, gently carassed as we spoke and read to you softly;
Of your courage and strength and incredible will to live.
Until cradled and protected and cherished
You died in our arms.
It is a sweet place, the land of tears
Jonah you were worth it all.
We'll love you forever.
(modified from a poem we read shortly after after the boys' deaths)
Click here to watch the tribute we made for the boys
We also have a blog dedicated just to Josh and Jonah.
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